How The Schmuck To Get a Hold of Us!

So, You Have an Event and You’re Wondering

Will These Schmucks Come to Me?

You Better Schmucking Believe We Will!

717-775-6729

Get in touch

– Let Us Know About Your Next Event –

6 + 4 =

Contact was last modified: by

5 Schmucks Winery's Fantastic Wine Selection

Check Out Our Blog For Information & Trends on Pennsylvania Wines

Four Wine Trends to Look for in 2018

Newswise — Wine, you may already know, is very big business in California. The state is the world's fourth-leading producer after France, Italy and Spain, and domestic sales of California wine reached a record retail value of $34.1 billion in 2016. Faculty...

read more

Check out our Latest Shenanigans from Instagram

#5schmuckswinery

Want To Keep Up With Our Schmucking Shenanigans?

You Know You Want To!

Sign Up For Our Newsletter!

We Promise to Deliver Hilariously Inspired Wine Satire....Or Coupons, Coupons Are Good Too. 

Hold On One Second You Schmuck.

By clicking 'agree' below you are confirming you are 21 years old and agree to the terms & conditions.

string(145) "{"error":{"message":"Error validating application. Application has been deleted.","type":"OAuthException","code":190,"fbtrace_id":"FwKFbfpbB3X"}}"